I'm fresh from reading A.'s post about thinking. I too am afflicted with this overly cliche skill that is hated by most people who are unfortunate enough to have it. I do my "best" thinking....never. Seriously, there has never been a time when I've "thought" and come up with anything that is a true and clear reflection of reality. In fact, most of the time, it is the manic ramblings of an overthinker who is intimidated by "doing" things and therefore is subject to thinking about every angle that possibly exists to make the act of living easier, or at least, planned to perfection. Or in my case, planned to neurosis. I'll be happy to provide the kind of examples that'll make you think, hmmm, wow, thinking is so not her strong suit....she should stick to sleeping (which I do very well!).
1) When he says he likes me does he mean he likes, likes me? His tone of voice sounded like he was being sincere, but was that because he felt pressured? Hmmm, what did I say before he said anything? I think I might've made him say it. He probably doesn't mean it. Hmmm, but what if he does mean it? You know, he probably does like me, but maybe not likes, likes me, but there are definitely some like feelings inside of him. Right, that's what he said. Okay, maybe I shouldn't call him tomorrow. He probably needs some time and space to think about it. Maybe we should see other people. Oh crap, is he seeing somebody else? I wonder if he likes, likes her? Damn it.
2) I wonder if I ignore the fact that I think M. is crazy that she won't realize that I think she's as fuckin' wacko as Britney Spears on Red Bull and extra cheesy nachos (worse than crack people). I mean, she has to know that I think she's nuts because I can't control my facial contortions that reflect shock, slight repulsion, and awkwardness when she screams out in the computer lab that "she got laid". I think its weird for women to scream that out loud in public. What would June Cleaver think? Probably that M. was crazy as fuck (direct quote?). I'll just smile more. You can't go wrong with smiling when somebody tells you they've just had sex multiple times with random guy #5. Right, the grin will convey that I'm both jealous and happy. Happy about what? Oh who knows, but I'm sure that if I don't smile she'll know she's Britney Spears. Is M. going to shave her head? Oh, that would not be good. Fuck.
3) Black people have a built in anti-blushing mechanism....melanin, is there anything you can't do?
4) If Americans threaten to move to Canada if shit hits the fan, where do Canadians threaten to move to? I hope it isn't Australia. No offense, but Australia apparently got the "countries should not be seen or heard" speech and took it very seriously. When was the last time something happened in Australia? Oh shit, Kylie Minogue happened...to the world, courtesy of Australia. I take it back. I kind of want to see what kind of people would admit to actually liking Kylie Minogue. That's truly fucked.
5) Who is Jessica Simpson going to date next? Inquiring minds don't want to know.
Yeah, and that's it. No thinking left. It's probably for the best. I've exhausted all my crazy here and I'm going to sleep. Now there's something that I can do really well. With sleeping maybe I can even win an award, perhaps a Pulitzer, maybe even a Nobel Prize, or more importantly, win American Idol. Good sleepers make good singers duh!
No comments:
Post a Comment